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"The only person that likes change is a wet baby."
-Mark Twain

"I changed Abby's diaper at a Fuddruckers once. Let me tell you, worst ten minutes of my life"


"I have the World's Biggest Tongue"
-Self Proclamation, David Bargmann

"Go, Diego, Go, Diego, Go"
-World's Loudest Christmas Toy

"It's not actually the worst idea for a movie I've ever heard"
-A promising response to our movie idea. Entitled "Faded". Think Back to the Future meets Frequency, meets As the World turns, meets the Rockford Files, meets X-files. It'll be awesome.

"Thomas trying to get the last Guitar Hero III for the Wii"

Christmas is in the air, and Beowulf.

"Holy Christmas"
-a co-working seeing our Christmas snack spread

"I don't want to steal any one's candy or anything, but I sure could go for a wuerther's."
-on sharing

"I have to open this jar of pickles. Wait, let me take off all my clothes first."
-how Beowulf approaches everyday chores according to Justin.

"I just about ate another truffle, I must have a death wish"
-Jason right before his 12th truffle.

"God bless us, everyone"
-Tiny Tim

Size, Gender, Taste

"He was tall, but exceedingly lank, with narrow shoulders, long arms and legs,hands that dangled a mile out of his sleeves..."
-Washington Irving referring to Ichabond Crane and unknowingly referring to me.

"All these, however, were mere terrors of the night, phantoms of the mind that walk in darkness; and though he had seen many specters in his time, and been more than once beset by Satan in diverse shapes, in his lonely perambulations, yet daylight put an end to all these evils; and he would have passed a pleasant life of it, in despite of the devil and all his works, if his path had not been crossed by a being that causes more perplexity to mortal man than ghosts, goblins, and the whole race of witches put together, and that was - a woman."
-Washington Irving

"That boy has a palette of a goldfish."
-referring to a particular picky eater.

When you're baking....

"You are the smoothiest smoothie I've ever seen"
-Jessica referring to my sweet moves

"People on coke are annoying."
-Nicki referring to Cocaine


"They don't deserve to breathe the same air I breathe."
-Referring to villains.

Family Gatherings...

"I'm so old I don't even buy green bananas any more"

"Did you know, your son is doing illegal things in his bedroom?!"
-Referencing illegal on-line downloading