RSS Feed

for this child we have prayed

It's been exactly one year since we found out we were pregnant with Max and that was after a year of being unable to conceive so saying the past two years have been a crazy, emotional journey would be an understatement. Even in our present joy, I can vividly remember the pain and emptiness, the sense of loss, even though we hadn't lost anything or anyone. I remember crying out to God through my tears and asking Him to bless us with a child.

And bless us He did. God answered our cries.

I've wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. I started babysitting at age 11. I was a nanny to four kids for seven summers and I worked at a daycare for four years, so I knew I would love being a mom. But I never understood the overwhelming, leave you speechless, fierce kind of love that I have for Max. To say he is precious and special just doesn't cut it. He is of course those things, but he's so much more.

He's my very heart.

We prayed for him before we knew him, but God knew him. God formed him and knit him together and in so doing, formed and knit a couple into a family. How do you even thank God for such a gift??

Max - your entire life has been covered in prayer and we will continue to pray faithfully for you and with you as you grow into the man Jesus made you to be. Little one, you are loved.

maxwell will make you jump jump!

this kid loves his daddy


I'm sure every mom wants to be a supermom. I know I do. But when I try to do everything without help I quickly get overwhelmed and lose my cool. This is a new sensation for me. I'm used to being super busy and doing everything, and working well under pressure. Not so with a baby. I think maybe it's because it is demanding in a whole new way than anything else I have experienced. I have never had to give of myself the way a baby requires.

I love being a mom. It is so incredibly rewarding and fulfilling, but so crazy demanding that I've come to a decision. I need a break.

In order to be a good mom, I need a few hours of alone time a week to run errands, read at a coffee shop, whatever. Then I can be refreshed and ready to answer all the "I need you" cries from my son.

Thankfully I have an amazing mom and mother-in-law who are eager to spend time with the little guy. Sometimes your sanity has to be a priority, right?

picture found here

baby chucks

Babies in chucks has to be one of the cutest things ever!

And these cousins are going to be partners in crime before we know it.

Anna took this one:

4 months

Your 4 month stats:

- you finally think we are funny, and it's awesome!
- you found your feet
- you still love your bear rattle, but now you love your zebra toy as well!
- Olive makes you smile

My love for you is fierce, Max!



The whole family gathered at Za's rehab center over the weekend for a pizza party. It was so nice to hang out and chat and laugh with everyone. It's hard though. Za is continuing to improve, but the improvements are slowing down. She still doesn't have use of her left side and it's just hard to see. We are all very sad. And even though she can understand what we are saying, she still has a hard time communicating and we all just miss her.

You can keep up with all updates on Za's progress here.

We love you Za and we are praying for you. Every day.